Random thought, stolen from Luke

I blog, therefore no Spam.

Menstration = Cleansing = Letting Go = Grief

This is probably innitialy the most disgusting post you'll ever read, but whn you think about this, it will make sense. Getting your period is one of the most awkward thing a girl will ever go through, but stop and think for a minute about the process.

Typically, every twenty eight days, this part of a woman's cycle occurrs. You bleed, you whinge and mitch and moan that you got them, usually at the most inconvenient time and for that few days you're feeling unconfortable and icky.

Think about it this way. While your inclination to skip over the subject far out weighs the desire to address it, it is possible to think of it on a spiritual level. It is a form of release, a cleansing of sorts, where all the bad energy from that month of your life is simply washed away. On a scientific level, the uterus is relining itself and you're releasing the egg, but with that in mind, think of this.

When you release the unfertilised egg, you are letting go of the potential of bringing a child into this world, yet again, as well as letting go of the unwanted energy that your body has grown accustomed to having as a part of you. In a sense, it is a loss and becomes something you grieve over, which will result in the extremes of emotion. The result - PMS. You're cranky and everyone around you is copping it. Mix it in with bouts of sadness that you can't explain and relate this back to what you know of the grieving process, because it is possible to grieve the things you're better off without. Then when you come out the otherside of it all, you find yourself strong again and feeling in more of positive state, until the next time.

It's not such a gross thing anymore, but something really beautiful.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Warning - Contain's movie spoilers)

I saw the movie, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, last Thursday, and once again it was a thoroughly enjoyable Harry Potter experience. I must say though that many things in the film were different to the book. The entire Dursley scene, complete with Dudley's eversized tongue, was completely written out of the movie. That would have been a laugh. Everything Post Dumbledore's death scene was different from the book, which was one of the dissappointments, because i would have loved to see what they did with a funeral of that nature. Morbid, i know, but it was written so beautifully in the book that I wanted to see it.
The Arogog thing was funny as ever I have to say, with Hagrid blubbering over his dead pet spider, Slughorn waited for an opportunity to cut it's limbs to use it for a potion. All the while Harry has this perplexed and slightly amused expression on his face which is priceless.
The Ron/Lavenda scenes were too funny, the way he swooned over her, but then when he was given a potion to counteract the effect of Romilda Vain's chocolates, that was even funnier. You have to watch it to know what I mean.
You can see the tension between Ron and Hermione, just as you can see it between Harry and Ginny. The times they almost kissed, interrupted by Ron or Hermione or Slughorn, added to the tension and you just know something is brewing between them.

Not sleepy

Q. WHY AM I AWAKE? WHY AM I NOT TIRED? WHY DON"T I WANT TO SLEEP?
A. 3 COFFEES = TOO MUCH CAFFEIGNE (mental blank can't spell tat at the moment - don't mock me)
Thanks Jim.

((0))_((0)) HELP!

Kings Work Boots

After careful consideration, I have decided to sell my Kings Work Boots on Ebay. I brought them when I was hired by a major hardware retail chain, who I shall not name, only to be told that "unfortunately we're not able to put you on. We'll keep your resume and details on file" after all of the hoops I had to jump through. I am back on the unemployment merry-go-round again.

Their size 6 men's but would fit a woman with a size 8-9 foot.

Ebay listing to come......

Toe Scum Idol

Australian Idol Auditions

For about the sixth time snce the birth of the show, I auditioned for Australian Idol, believing that all I needed to do was show them my voice and that I can sing and that the rest would just fall into place with the right attitude, the right guidence and alot of work. Each year I went back in spite of the constant knock backs and attacks on my character, and each year followed that same pattern. What can I say? I wanted that singing career that everybody wants so badly, that only a few, in this lifetime, would ever achieve. 

For what is essentially a television show, it's not enough to be passionate about music and really want it. Determination in this instant does not pay off, when there is such a small pidgeon hole of images that they look for. The only value this has in such a show is that it is used against you, and for the purpose of ratings, so many dreams are shattered and so many wonderful personalities and talented people are ridiculed, for the simple reason, that it makes for good television in this age of so-called reality.  I for one have copped this first hand, year after year as I subjected myself, willingly to the abuse of my character. 

I have come away in tears and feeling very down on myself and thinking that I was not good enough to make it in such an industry as the pop music scene. This year however, against my better judgement, I went back, to what I consider my abuser, thinking that I had the answers. I thought about the sorts of songs that I was best suited for, that would not only entertain the judges and get my foot in the door, but would entertain the Australian public. Mentally I ticked all the boxes and I felt fortunate to to have an opportunity to prove to the judges that I am serious about my craft and that I had heeded their constructive points, above the slamming of my personality and understood what it was they wanted from me. Like every other time I had that glimmer of hope that this was the year I would progress further and that the top hundred was well within my grasp. 

What was different though was that I was going in there with my eyes open, with the knowldge that a show such as this isn't about talent but good television and ratings. This year I was going to milk it. So I played the game. I answered the questions and really put my personality out there, really emphasising that I had developed a thick skin. 

This year I walked in there with a sense of self worth. I also had a score to settle. Every insult that was thrown at me I dished it back at them. I was not going to show weakness. I stood my ground and although I didn't get put through to the top hundred, I walked away feeling like a winner. I played their game and I didn't even crack. I looked my abusers in the eyes and told them exactly what I thought, and that their comments had no bearing how I feel about myself. I fought a good fight and then walked away with my head held high. In my mind, I have won and that is all that counts. 

My mug will be on television, probably not in the most favourable light, but to the people who know me, that won't matter. I have their respect and their love. For those who don't know me, it won't matter how they see me based on how a television show constructs my image.